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Page of faisaladam_'s best tweets

@faisaladam_ : If a girl says she loves you, do you tell her thank you or run away screaming? Asking for a dad.
Seriously, asking for a dad. I need a dad.

@faisaladam_: In Soviet Russia a bar walks into men. The case of the man-killing-bar remains unsolved.

@faisaladam_: I just saw a poster that said "have you seen this man?" With a number to call... So I called the number and told them "No."

@FaisalAdam_: Spider-man never tweets via iPhone. He's a web kinda guy.

@FaisalAdam_: I got kicked out of the procrastinators club when I showed up for our first meeting..

@FaisalAdam_: In a parallel universe, cartoons are watching us and thinking "how sad, they die if you drop an anvil on their heads..."

@FaisalAdam_: Asked a girl what I had to do to get her, she said, "GET LOST!"
So I stared...
Realising she wasn't saying more, I asked, "which season?"

@FaisalAdam_: Growing up, I had lots of nicknames but my best would always be 'Officer! That's him over there'... It gave me my sprinter's physique.

@FaisalAdam_: This, being a gentleman thing really works. Women just fall for me when I offer them my handkerchief. Sure it's dabbed in chloroform...

@FaisalAdam_: I just met a black vegan... All I kept asking was "so you don't eat chicken?"