“My Heart Mustard Go On” – Celine Dijon
I’ve started an elimination diet, It’s where I eliminate anyone from my life who talks about their diet.
Damnnnnn gurl… I wanna to take you back to my place, get you alone and just do work on your grammar.
DATING TIP: You never want to seem too easy! So set up a date and never show up.
DATING TIP: Size does matter! Tell her how big your TV is.
DATING TIP: Girls like bad boys! Brag about your Twitter gang.
DATING TIP: Surprise your date! Show up a day early.
“You never told me you were vegan!” – no one ever
If Pitbull wasn’t famous he’d easily be the creepiest guy in every club he visits.
HOW TO BECOME A CRAZY CAT LADY:
1) Get a cat.