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@FeelingMervis : "My Heart Mustard Go On" - Celine Dijon
@FeelingMervis: I've started an elimination diet, It's where I eliminate anyone from my life who talks about their diet.
@FeelingMervis: Damnnnnn gurl... I wanna to take you back to my place, get you alone and just do work on your grammar.
@FeelingMervis: DATING TIP: You never want to seem too easy! So set up a date and never show up.
@FeelingMervis: DATING TIP: Size does matter! Tell her how big your TV is.
@FeelingMervis: DATING TIP: Girls like bad boys! Brag about your Twitter gang.
@FeelingMervis: DATING TIP: Surprise your date! Show up a day early.
@FeelingMervis: "You never told me you were vegan!" - no one ever
@FeelingMervis: If Pitbull wasn't famous he'd easily be the creepiest guy in every club he visits.
@FeelingMervis: HOW TO BECOME A CRAZY CAT LADY:
1) Get a cat.