Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of FeverFlave's best tweets

@FeverFlave : My dad is a legend at hide and seek. One time I needed mom's help to find him. He was hiding at a motel with a strange lady.

@FeverFlave: Stop me if you've heard this one

Daddy I'm full

Ok, but the kitchen is closed for the night

(after cleaning up dinner)

Daddy I'm hungry

@FeverFlave: I would rather have a 100 poisonous spiders dumped on my naked body than a second date.

Me: So that's a no?

@FeverFlave: I don't like the gerbil I become when I'm stuck in a revolving door.

@FeverFlave: [inventing worcestershire ​sauce]

Lea: We'll bottle pickled anchovy juice and name it unpronounceable.

Perrins: That might work.

@FeverFlave: Make up for past mistakes by frequently repeating them in new and astonishing ways.

@FeverFlave: Guys you need to work this out.

*water balloon fight at 10 paces*

@FeverFlave: If you balance your medication correctly you can blank out an entire morning meeting.

@FeverFlave: *waking up to dog kisses*

Good morning...such a good boy...yes I love you too...you raided the garbage again didn't you...

@FeverFlave: *gets stuck halfway through a somersault*

This is how I live now.