My dad is a legend at hide and seek. One time I needed mom’s help to find him. He was hiding at a motel with a strange lady.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one
Daddy I’m full
Ok, but the kitchen is closed for the night
(after cleaning up dinner)
Daddy I’m hungry
I would rather have a 100 poisonous spiders dumped on my naked body than a second date.
Me: So that’s a no?
I don’t like the gerbil I become when I’m stuck in a revolving door.
[inventing worcestershire ?sauce]
Lea: We’ll bottle pickled anchovy juice and name it unpronounceable.
Perrins: That might work.
Make up for past mistakes by frequently repeating them in new and astonishing ways.
Guys you need to work this out.
*water balloon fight at 10 paces*
If you balance your medication correctly you can blank out an entire morning meeting.
*waking up to dog kisses*
Good morning…such a good boy…yes I love you too…you raided the garbage again didn’t you…
*gets stuck halfway through a somersault*
This is how I live now.