Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us

Page of FeverFlave's best tweets

@FeverFlave : My dad is a legend at hide and seek. One time I needed mom's help to find him. He was hiding at a motel with a strange lady.

@FeverFlave: Stop me if you've heard this one

Daddy I'm full

Ok, but the kitchen is closed for the night

(after cleaning up dinner)

Daddy I'm hungry

@FeverFlave: I would rather have a 100 poisonous spiders dumped on my naked body than a second date.

Me: So that's a no?

@FeverFlave: I don't like the gerbil I become when I'm stuck in a revolving door.

@FeverFlave: [inventing worcestershire ​sauce]

Lea: We'll bottle pickled anchovy juice and name it unpronounceable.

Perrins: That might work.

@FeverFlave: Make up for past mistakes by frequently repeating them in new and astonishing ways.

@FeverFlave: Guys you need to work this out.

*water balloon fight at 10 paces*

@FeverFlave: If you balance your medication correctly you can blank out an entire morning meeting.

@FeverFlave: *waking up to dog kisses*

Good morning...such a good boy...yes I love you too...you raided the garbage again didn't you...

@FeverFlave: *gets stuck halfway through a somersault*

This is how I live now.