@FeverFlave

My dad is a legend at hide and seek. One time I needed mom’s help to find him. He was hiding at a motel with a strange lady.

@FeverFlave

Stop me if you’ve heard this one

Daddy I’m full

Ok, but the kitchen is closed for the night

(after cleaning up dinner)

Daddy I’m hungry

@FeverFlave

I would rather have a 100 poisonous spiders dumped on my naked body than a second date.

Me: So that’s a no?

@FeverFlave

I don’t like the gerbil I become when I’m stuck in a revolving door.

@FeverFlave

[inventing worcestershire ?sauce]

Lea: We’ll bottle pickled anchovy juice and name it unpronounceable.

Perrins: That might work.

@FeverFlave

Make up for past mistakes by frequently repeating them in new and astonishing ways.

@FeverFlave

Guys you need to work this out.

*water balloon fight at 10 paces*

@FeverFlave

If you balance your medication correctly you can blank out an entire morning meeting.

@FeverFlave

*waking up to dog kisses*

Good morning…such a good boy…yes I love you too…you raided the garbage again didn’t you…

@FeverFlave

*gets stuck halfway through a somersault*

This is how I live now.