I’ve got a really bad feeling about this bathroom, you guys.
Eye of the Tiger came on the radio and I got so excited the macaroni salad I was making is all over the walls and the cat has a black eye.
Civil War reenactments are a lot like meetings. You do the same thing over and over again while waiting for your turn to die.
If people winked in real life as much as they do on the Internet, the world would be about 542.67% creepier.
Apologizing for canceling a meeting is like saying sorry for buying me a beer.
The woman selling sea shells by the sea shore must have had a strong personal brand to overcome such a poor business model.
The five years of life you gain by eating healthy are spent preparing healthy food.