@FlyoverJoel

Eye of the Tiger came on the radio and I got so excited the macaroni salad I was making is all over the walls and the cat has a black eye.

@FlyoverJoel

Civil War reenactments are a lot like meetings. You do the same thing over and over again while waiting for your turn to die.

@FlyoverJoel

If people winked in real life as much as they do on the Internet, the world would be about 542.67% creepier.

@FlyoverJoel

Apologizing for canceling a meeting is like saying sorry for buying me a beer.

@FlyoverJoel

The woman selling sea shells by the sea shore must have had a strong personal brand to overcome such a poor business model.

@FlyoverJoel

The five years of life you gain by eating healthy are spent preparing healthy food.