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@freudianscript : Welcome to twitter- Please stand by, someone will disagree with you shortly.
@freudianscript: I'm not here to fix your problems, i'm here to set an example of what happens when your problems don't get fixed.
@Freudianscript: *I'm a gift to mankind.*
Mankind- I'd like to exchange this please.
@Freudianscript: In a parallel universe, your password forgets you.
@Freudianscript: I just saved a bunch of money on fireworks by telling my wife to calm down.
@Freudianscript: When speaking to your wife, always end with, "but i could be wrong," this way when she says you're wrong, you'll be right for a change.
@Freudianscript: I'm not real good at talking my way out of trouble, since it's the talking that got me in to trouble in the first place.
@Freudianscript: I need to start paying more attention when i'm talking to myself.
@Freudianscript: When life gives you lemons.....
Facebook makes lemonade.
Twitter Makes Martinis.
@Freudianscript: Killing someone with kindness is one way to prove you expect nothing in return for your kindness.