@FreudsTwin

Rather than Anti-psychotic drugs, I prefer a more friendlier tone like Pro-sanity pills.

@FreudsTwin

Mad scientist- Checks for Labs
Bartender- Checks for Tabs
Boxer- Checks for Jabs
Uber- Checks for Cabs
Your back – Checks for Stabs

@FreudsTwin

I’m no Exorcist, but i did scare the hell out of someone once.

@FreudsTwin

My therapist told me I should start making my own decisions. So I stopped seeing him.

@FreudsTwin

The funny thing about fast food is, that it slows down the people who eat it.

@FreudsTwin

I was up all night wondering, if you get fired at the Unemployment Office, do you just switch to the other side of the desk?