@GABBYdaAngSaya

[Bookstore]
Me: *hands over Tangled coloring book*
Cashier: How old is your daughter?
Me: [sweating nervously] Of course it is

@GABBYdaAngSaya

God: You’ll be cursed to travel the desert for 35 years
Moses: *slipping him $20* How about 30
[Later]
Moses: We must wander for 40 years

@GABBYdaAngSaya

Satan: And this is the TV room.
Me: This isn’t so bad. *turns on TV*
*only thing showing is golf*

@GABBYdaAngSaya

[Watching 101 Dalmatians with a cute girl]
Hold up, hold up. Pause it, please. Thanks. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,

@GABBYdaAngSaya

Me: *eating a Mars bar*
Martian: Good grief where will I obtain alcohol now

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Me: I think we need to break up
Her: Now is not a good time
Me: Okay
*we ride the rollercoaster in silence*

@GABBYdaAngSaya

Her: I’m leaving you
Me: Because of the ancient Roman literature puns?
Her: Yah
Me: But Aenid you

@GABBYdaAngSaya

Prisoner: You inked
Me: *thinking about my “I hate prisoners” back tattoo* No why

@GABBYdaAngSaya

Genie: I’ll give you more wishes, I feel bad for you
Me: [with 3 ice cream cones on the ground] That’s very nice of you

@GABBYdaAngSaya

Boss: I suspect one of you is dead
[Everyone looks at me, except for Paul, who is not moving at all]