Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. That's it, don't make us say cringy things like YouTubers say at the end of their videos. Click here to follow us

Page of GibJimson's best tweets

@GibJimson : Capri Sun taught me how to stab with accuracy.

@GibJimson: [filling out job application]
Race: Barbarian

@GibJimson: Damn girl, are you an octagon?

Cause there's like 8 different sides to you.

@GibJimson: If you ever see me cleaning out my car in the middle of winter, it's because I have drugs missing.

@GibJimson: Nephew: Were the scorpions around when there were dinosaurs?

Me: You mean like the band?

@GibJimson: My family doesn't get together a lot during the holidays.

We see each other enough throughout the year at all the interventions.

@GibJimson: [at pet store]

Im looking for something cheap and will get people to stop coming over.

@GibJimson: If you ever get drugged by someone and they steal an organ, just check Craigslist.

That's probably where I'm selling it at.

@GibJimson: I buy a lot of ringtones for someone who hasn't answered a phone call since 2008.