“Alcohol is just water with feelings in it,” said the girl who failed chemistry.
Every year, falling coconuts kill more people than shark attacks, but the families of the shark victims are less embarrassed.
There is a vast difference between an underdog and a loser, the first one has a real chance to win.
A new study says vegetarians
die younger than smokers, on average, so don’t smoke your vegetables…
Man texted: “I want you to be my little angle.”
I answered: “Do you want me to be obtuse, right, or acute?”
Two days have passed, no reply.
If Twitter was any more fun we’d have to smuggle it in from Mexico.