@GingerHotDish

*Eating my third bowl of ice cream*

I really thought this Keto diet would be harder.

@GingerHotDish

My friend is mad because I called her baby the cutest little freak show. The CUTEST tho… it’s like she missed that part.

@GingerHotDish

I’m sorry, but I’m never gonna apologize for who I am.

*except just then*

@GingerHotDish

Me: Alexa, make me a drink.

Her: Mom, that’s not my name and I think you’ve had enough.

@GingerHotDish

Don’t worry if she spells out “I’m fine!” in lighter fluid on your front lawn, but if she lights it… she is definitely lying.

@GingerHotDish

I told him I’d send him nudes everyday he was sick, but we are on day 17 now… how long does the flu normally last?

@GingerHotDish

Me: Is anyone gonna eat this?

Them: That’s a baby.

Me: *rolling my eyes* that’s why I asked first.

@GingerHotDish

I’ve never made it longer than 7 hours into a diet before my inner fat girl ate her way out.