Following Prince Phillip’s passing, Prince Charles inherits the title Duke Of Edinburgh. Basically, it all shifts up one. For instance, I’m now my next door neighbour, Pauline Cathcart.
COMPUTER: Enter your password
ME: [types ‘posh_people’s_tea’]
COMPUTER: Your password is too weak
ME: [high fives computer]
Just read that michelangelo painted the sistine chapel on his back. Must’ve been really difficult reaching that bit between his shoulders.
The noise Rice Krispies make in different languages, according to Wikipedia…
The first rule of Hide a Vegetable in a Sentence Club is always be true to yourself.
I’ve often wondered whether baby deer are left or right handed. Turns out they’re bambidextrous.
BREAKING NEWS: Police have said that whoever broke into the station last night and locked all their case files in a picnic basket has seriously hampered their investigations.
Just found out I’ve failed my biology exam. Obviously I’m not happy about it but I guess I’ll have to take it on the sticky out bit just below my speak hole.
Why do birds,
you are near?
Just like me,
you seem to be,
made of seeds.
Just had a goat’s cheese sandwich. Well, he should have put his name on it.