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Page of GrillinChillin9's best tweets

@GrillinChillin9 : Don't blame me for the world's problems, I was practically raised by the Muppets as a kid.

@GrillinChillin9: I hope that if I ever have to call 9-1-1 for an emergency an essential oil person is not the operator.

Help, I’m hurt.

Try Lavender.

@GrillinChillin9: It's complicated.

-My response when someone asks if they can have one of my beers.

@GrillinChillin9: Kids today will never know the struggle of flipping a cassette tape in a Walk-Man will riding on a bicycle at the same time.

@GrillinChillin9: If at first you don't succeed then try, try again.

Unless you're skydiving then good luck with that.

@GrillinChillin9: Never apologize in your voicemail for not answering the phone. You're not sorry. Own that shit. "Hey, I don't like you. Leave a message."

@GrillinChillin9: Wife: Can I have one of your french fries?

Me: No, I don’t have that many.

My dog: Can I have one?

Me: OMG yes. Here, take them all.

@GrillinChillin9: Eve: I think we should see other people.

Adam: There's other people here?

Eve: No.

A: What the...

E: Sshh! Don't make this difficult.