Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of GroovyTasia's best tweets

@GroovyTasia : Me: You're NEVER supportive of my goals and accomplishments.

Police: Because you keep killing people

@GroovyTasia: me: i'd sell my soul for clear skin.

dermatologist: drink more water.

me: [glaring] i SAID i'd sell my SOUL for clear skin

@GroovyTasia: Me: Sorry I make bad decisions when overwhelmed

Burnt neighbor who just said hi to me: but why do you have a flamethrower in the first place?

@GroovyTasia: *Knocks on Misery's door*

Me: Hey! I heard you love company.

Misery *through mail slot*: not you

@GroovyTasia: Him: Can you please stop using the bananas like they are phones

Me: But how am I supposed to contact the gorillas

Him: You're unbelievable!

Gorilla *over banana*: When are you leaving him?