Nothing derails an argument in the kitchen like soft-close drawers.
Learn to ask more specific questions. It’s not “How do I look?” It’s “Do I look good enough people are surprised I married you?”
I need you guys to take my phone away from me. It’ll probably take a couple of you to do it. I’m a biter.
A smart car easily passes my Jeep on a hill. “Hey, that’s not right” yells a jogger, who also easily passes my Jeep on a hill.
You see a Honda, a Toyota, a Chevy, and another Honda. I see four people who aren’t getting that parking space. Hang on.
I will not buy ornamental gourds this year!
I WILL NOT BUY GOURDS!
*buys all the gourds (and a hay bale)
How do you ask a friend if she’s a human-reptile hybrid, but as a compliment? She never sweats and that’s for sure a third eyelid.
Relations at the bird feeder have been strained since the experimental millet blend.
I, too, enjoy McDonald’s sausage biscuits. We will dialogue further, you and I.
With literally no way of knowing if you were cursed by an evil witch as a baby, why would you take a spinning class?