@HatfieldAnne

You can totally mistake a slipper for a cat when you don’t have your glasses on. Even after you pet it, you can’t be sure.

@HatfieldAnne

Are you a guest? No, you aren’t. You live here. *takes away napkin and hands you a paper towel*

@HatfieldAnne

You travel 3500 miles to the breathtaking 15th-century mountaintop Inca citadel, Machu Picchu. The gift shop is not great.

@HatfieldAnne

Not fat, but not super thin either. I’m more like…what’s the word? Oh, I know. Terrifying.

@HatfieldAnne

The card you sent said “Peace on Earth” but the glitter on my hand says you have made a powerful enemy.

@HatfieldAnne

[poking you repeatedly in the shoulder] I’ll keep this up until you acknowledge me. I’ve got nowhere else to be.

@HatfieldAnne

Guys, we’ve lost the battle on “I could care less.” Let’s move forward, focus on “should of.”

@HatfieldAnne

A Person Who Cares has informed me there’s a helium shortage, which I knew.

She said “it’s not just for balloons,” which I also knew.

She asked me if could even name three other uses for helium, which I did.

It was a tough day for A Person Who Cares.

@HatfieldAnne

Right now, someone likes something you don’t and other people are agreeing. You just gonna sit there and let that happen?

@HatfieldAnne

Less concerned about the rotten apples than the really stupid ones.