@Havish_AF

When a woman asks you to smell something, it usually smells good.
Men on the other hand…

@Havish_AF

If the couch is barking, you’re sitting on the dog.

@Havish_AF

I miss the days when Twitter fights were about whether to pour the milk first or the cereal.

@Havish_AF

Today, i tried to run with a mask on, but i couldn’t.
It reminded me of those times when i tried to run without a mask and still couldn’t.

@Havish_AF

Everyone: New year resolutions.
2021: When will they learn…

@Havish_AF

-Me: [Turns off the light, finally gets to sleep]
– Brain: Wait. Who the hell closes the bus door when the driver’s out?

@Havish_AF

Crazy how they’re still wasting money on sleep research, when we all already know that the necessary sleep time is five minutes more.

@Havish_AF

As my grandma used to say, if a bear is sitting on your couch, you’ve drunk too much. If you’re not drunk, why aren’t you running?

@Havish_AF

I wonder what ppl in the year 78 BC thought C stood for.

@Havish_AF

Is it really based on a true story when actors are hotter than the characters they play?