Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@HiddenPinky : "This sausage tastes funny."
"Funny how? Like it's made from a clown? Because it's not. It's absolutely not clown sausage."
@HiddenPinky: Guy 1: I do a poor impression of Sean Connery.
Guy 2: Shame.
@HiddenPinky: "Nice one."
- me to my son, who is just learning to write numbers
@HiddenPinky: *puts baby powder in a crib*
@HiddenPinky: Accidentally went to Rouge One instead of Rogue One. Boy is my face red.
@HiddenPinky: [Home after awful day at work, my dog greets me]
Me: At least somebody's happy to see me!
Dog: *shakes head, pulls banana from pocket*
@HiddenPinky: The limerick writers on Twitter
Can be justifiably bitter
The limited length
Is weakness, not strength
And throws our last lines down the sh
@HiddenPinky: Buddhist Monk sees kid in Nirvana t-shirt:
"You like Nirvana? What's your favorite step on the 8-fold Path?"
"Yeah, me, too."
@HiddenPinky: Will I ever be a good parent?
Wait a minute, if you're here
[cut to Magic 8-Ball in crib]
@HiddenPinky: ENTER PASSWORD
PASSWORD TOO WEAK. TRY AGAIN.