Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Hobo_Splendido's best tweets

@Hobo_Splendido : [laundromat] lady: you can't do that me: *pulling baby out of dryer* no it's cool I know the owner

@Hobo_Splendido: Regardless of the restaurant, I throw the peanut shells on the floor. If they don't have peanuts I bring my own.

@Hobo_Splendido: Found a half empty bottle of salad dressing in the woods. Not sure how kids party nowadays but I don't think I can hang.

@Hobo_Splendido: I bought the extended play version of Layla in 1972 and it just ended

@Hobo_Splendido: "did I catch you at a bad time?"

- yeah, I'm awake and I'm sober

@Hobo_Splendido: Cool I just discovered I can speak my tweets into my phone exclamation mark

@Hobo_Splendido: I baked cookies in an EZ Bake oven when I was eleven and now they're ready.

@Hobo_Splendido: local police are looking for a peeping tom, I'm heading over to pick up an application

@Hobo_Splendido: Autoerotic asphyxiation? No thanks, I'm not much of a car guy.

@Hobo_Splendido: The Church used to teach that all babies that die go to Limbo, but it was easy for them because they're so short.