@Home_Halfway

I occasionally sew religious clothing but I’d never make a habit of it.

@Home_Halfway

AGE 17: I’m gonna play this game on nightmare mode and complete everything

AGE 27: I’ll play this on hard mode but probably won’t do every quest

AGE 37: I died just turning the game on

@Home_Halfway

[First day as a CIA agent]

Agent: Shooter approaching at 11 o’clock

Me: *looks at watch* Oh nice, we have some time then

@Home_Halfway

I hate that I can’t go anywhere for the holidays, unlike previous years where I hated having to go somewhere for the holidays.

@Home_Halfway

Date: I’m sorry, I can’t see you anymore

Waldo: Oh sorry that always happens when I stand next to a barber pole

@Home_Halfway

I started making food, then forgot I was making food so then I started making other food. Now I have two food. I’m doing great.