@HoneyWooWoo

*first date*

Him: You have a very defined jawline.

Me: Thanks! I chew a lot.

@HoneyWooWoo

*at party*

Guy: Want to dance?

Me: I’m sorry but I cannot, in good conscience, leave this cheese ball unattended.

@HoneyWooWoo

Once I get the creative juices flowing, I realize how disgusting that really sounds.

@HoneyWooWoo

“I love it when we finish each other.”
“You mean: other’s sentences?”
“No.”