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Page of Hormonella's best tweets

@Hormonella : Suffering from kleptomania?

You should take something.

@Hormonella: Getting colagen injections in my lips next week 'cause, you know, 'tis the season to be Jolie.

@Hormonella: I need a pet that is quiet, obedient and doesn’t jump on the furniture.

I think I need a hard boiled egg.

@Hormonella: Coffee so hot I give it my real phone number.

@Hormonella: Add mushrooms to any salad for that farm fresh taste of dirt.

@Hormonella: What North Korea really needs is a decent haircut.

@Hormonella: God: Let's give them the ability to feel remorse.

Satan: I like that. Say, from 2:00 - 4:00 AM?

@Hormonella: If you can't be with the dog you love, pat the dog you're with.

@Hormonella: So Mother Theresa puts a dish towel on her head and she's a "saint" but when I put a dish towel on MY head I'm "drunk in the kitchen again?"

@Hormonella: "I love this song!"

"This is my favorite song!"

"I love this song!"

"No, THIS is my favorite song!"

~ Me, listening to my own playlist