@IamEnidColeslaw

what did I do this weekend? saw 50 Shades Darker & coughed through the whole movie on purpose

@IamEnidColeslaw

If a tree falls in the woods can I stand under it so I don’t have to go to work tomorrow?

@IamEnidColeslaw

shoutout to Disney for giving me unrealistic expectations about love, talking animals and my singing voice

@IamEnidColeslaw

I bet every time Beyoncé leaves a restaurant everyone fights over who gets to smell her chair

@IamEnidColeslaw

why is Charmin trying to get us comfortable with bears? HELLO THEY EAT PEOPLE

@IamEnidColeslaw

drank a Mike’s Hard Lemonade & crashed my dirt bike into a mailbox RT @McDonalds Good morning! How was your weekend?

@IamEnidColeslaw

I do this really cute thing where I yawn right before my girlfriend kisses me so I almost swallow her face