I still remember how great water out of a squirt gun tasted. That hint of polyethylene.
We all look like talking skeletons to Superman. Even his parents. I don’t know how that kid slept at night.
Penguin 1: Let’s stay in tonight.
Penguin 2: I didn’t dress like this to stay home.
Priorities: before we worry about all of this we really need to get all the child eating clowns out of the sewers.
We’ve burned through Netflix so tonight we’re opening a bottle wine and watching a fork in the microwave.
If I’m wearing the mask here’s how to tell If I’m smiling: I’m not.
Sometimes you think you only have one cat but after you stay home a week you find you have two that look alike.
The next time you hear a celebrity saying, “we’ll get through this together,” send them your electric bill with a thank you note.
There were kids who did cartwheels.
There were kids who didn’t do cartwheels.
There were kids who thought they were doing cartwheels.
Yes, your cat is waiting for you in heaven. Hm? Yes, he will ignore you there too.