@IamJackBoot

I still remember how great water out of a squirt gun tasted. That hint of polyethylene.

@IamJackBoot

We all look like talking skeletons to Superman. Even his parents. I don’t know how that kid slept at night.

@IamJackBoot

Penguin 1: Let’s stay in tonight.
Penguin 2: I didn’t dress like this to stay home.

@IamJackBoot

Priorities: before we worry about all of this we really need to get all the child eating clowns out of the sewers.

@IamJackBoot

We’ve burned through Netflix so tonight we’re opening a bottle wine and watching a fork in the microwave.

@IamJackBoot

If I’m wearing the mask here’s how to tell If I’m smiling: I’m not.

@IamJackBoot

Sometimes you think you only have one cat but after you stay home a week you find you have two that look alike.

@IamJackBoot

The next time you hear a celebrity saying, “we’ll get through this together,” send them your electric bill with a thank you note.

@IamJackBoot

There were kids who did cartwheels.
There were kids who didn’t do cartwheels.
There were kids who thought they were doing cartwheels.

@IamJackBoot

Yes, your cat is waiting for you in heaven. Hm? Yes, he will ignore you there too.