Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@Ilovelamp1979 : The elderly almost never expect a leg sweep.
@Ilovelamp1979: Cocaine is never a solution, until it's dissolved in water.
@Ilovelamp1979: Every time I see an obese cop, a small part of me hopes he has to chase me.
@Ilovelamp1979: This could be the LSD talking, but I'm pretty sure I'd be more comfortable riding on the roof of the car.
@Ilovelamp1979: I'm not a violent person. I just really enjoy assisting people in falling down.
@Ilovelamp1979: Every idiot in Florida just turned on their electric heater & they crashed the grid. Now I'm forced to watch my neighbor sleep in the dark.
@Ilovelamp1979: RT if you love puppies, rainbows or beating the shit out of strangers for not saying "Thank You", after you've held the door for them.
@Ilovelamp1979: I was late to work because I was having car trouble.
And by car trouble I mean I was sleeping and not driving the car.
@Ilovelamp1979: My cat just told me to stop talking during the movie.
Maybe homemade psychedelics were a bad idea
@Ilovelamp1979: One of the worst things about tweeting while driving is all of the people that seem to appear out of nowhere on the sidewalk.
There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny.
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FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
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