Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us

Page of ImABaconDonut's best tweets

@ImABaconDonut : Me: Thanks for the sex.

Me: You're welcome.

Me: Maybe next time we can have another person in the room.

Me: That'd be nice.

@ImABaconDonut: 5: I went potty.
Me: Did you remember to wipe this time?
5: No.
Me: Why?
5: It's faster my way.

I don't know how to counter that argument.

@ImABaconDonut: One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours.

About the same as a common Monday on Earth.