@IndecisiveJones
@IndecisiveJones
@IndecisiveJones
nothing kills high school nostalgia faster than a scroll down your facebook feed
@IndecisiveJones
shark tank judge: nobody is going to want to buy your ghost pants
me: just wait, this time next year, boo khakis are gonna be everywhere!
@IndecisiveJones
bartender: what’s wrong with you
best man: they kicked me out because i dropped the mike after the wedding toast
bartender: well that’s excessive-
best man: mike is the groom
@IndecisiveJones
scrooge: who are you
ghost: i’m the ghost of christmas present
scrooge: so santa claus
ghost: NOT THAT KIND OF PRESENT
@IndecisiveJones
me: [holding knife] ok i’m not gonna cry this time
onion: hey remember the end of that movie about the dog
@IndecisiveJones
Pacifist? No, I think all oceans are beautiful
@IndecisiveJones
me: you take your job a little too seriously
bouncer: *jumping up and down* what
@IndecisiveJones
[first day selling houses]
me: shits about to get realty
@IndecisiveJones
is the plural of judas judasses or judi