@Integrity_Guy

When a “Baby On Board” sticker is a little faded and beat up you know the kid is at least a year or two old now and the car is safe to ram

@Integrity_Guy

BuzzFeed is selling all your quiz data. If you were wondering what Ninja Turtle you were in 2011 and got “Michelangelo,” good luck getting a mortgage now.

@Integrity_Guy

You’re allowed to steal shit from the mall. The security guards don’t care. They’re there to shoot the mannequins if they come to life.

@Integrity_Guy

Real men don’t hit you up late at night demanding photos of your naked body. Real men hit their desks with closed fists demanding photos of Spiderman.