@ItsLaTourette

It’s so unsettling meeting a baby with a grown man’s name. No I don’t want to hold Keith but can he look over my investment portfolio for me

@ItsLaTourette

When you say ” friends with benefits” I assume you own a medical Marijuana dispensary and or a liquor store

@ItsLaTourette

It’s funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side My roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing

@ItsLaTourette

I heard girls like guys that are mysterious so I just put a fog machine under my bed