@ItsSamG

I have gained 8lbs and even though I’ve eaten a steady diet of junk food and sugar and only worked out three times in the last two months this seems really really unfair, you guys

@ItsSamG

My house is cleaner than it’s ever been and given that no one is allowed to come over to see it you’ll just have to take my word for it

@ItsSamG

Ladies winter is coming and they are going to try to lure you in with hoodies and fireplaces. Don’t fall for it.

I mean I’m probably gonna but the rest of you should stay strong.

@ItsSamG

PSA: Calories don’t count today because February 29 doesn’t really exist.

@ItsSamG

Canadians eat more mac & cheese than any other nation

We also rank first for quality of life

I’m not saying these things are related but ….these things are definitely related

@ItsSamG

I would go to the gym during the Christmas holidays but I don’t really think that’s what Jesus would have wanted

@ItsSamG

My dad went from “no man is good enough for my little girl” to “would you just pick one already? Jobs aren’t even that important” real quick

@ItsSamG

I nearly choked on a hard boiled egg and I know in my heart a cinnamon bun would never treat me this way

@ItsSamG

He said he likes curvy women and what my man wants, my man gets

*eats 14th Oreo cookie*

@ItsSamG

Ladies winter is coming and they are going to try to lure you in with hoodies and fireplaces. Don’t fall for it.

I mean I’m probably gonna but the rest of you should stay strong.