@JCWisdomNuggets

“Paper or pl..”

..astic! OMG we finish each other’s sentences! You complete mmmm…

“I’m not saying ‘me'”

ME! OMG we did it again!

“…”

@JCWisdomNuggets

Hey Dads who think that being home with the kids alone is called “babysitting”. You’re wrong. It’s called “parenting”. Not the same.

@JCWisdomNuggets

Next time a dude says “Pictures or it didn’t happen”, punch them in the throat, take a pic, and tell a story about a guy you throat punched.

@JCWisdomNuggets

I carry two crickets around in a small box so when I say something that isn’t funny I can supply my own sound effects. They get real tired.

@JCWisdomNuggets

Server: Want one of our famous milkshakes?
Me: Well, I saw your yard and it was empty.
Server: Huh?
Me: No boys.
Server: Huh?
Me: No thanks.