@JJSummertime: My husband's family tree is more like a rosebush.
It's filled with pricks.
@JJSummertime: Show me a good ab workout and I'll show you what looks like an alligator stuck on its back.
@JJSummertime: Me: So how are you going to finance your second year of college?
Daughter: *drops a "Swear Jar" onto the counter*
@JJSummertime: My kid actually changed her sheets today but only because the old ones desperately crawled to the laundry room on their own.
@JJSummertime: My kid found a Disney movie marathon on tv and I found Captain Morgan in the freezer. Life is about balance.
@JJSummertime: You guys realize "business up front, party in the back" is only about mullets, right?