@JJSummertime

Friends don’t let friends buy cinnamon scented decorative brooms.

@JJSummertime

Irony:
My overweight dog can convince you she has completed 28 days on “Survivor” and NEEDS your sandwich just by staring at you.
And you believe her.

@JJSummertime

I’m not ashamed to say I will never be mature enough to help with school projects about Uranus.

@JJSummertime

After watching “101 Dalmations” I hoped my dog’s barking was to help others, but I think she is just spreading gossip.

@JJSummertime

I’d probably be on time more often if I had an alarm clock that yelled, “Pancakes are ready!”

@JJSummertime

Me: Ah-chooo!
CW: Allergy season! Is there something in here irritating you?
Me: Everyday.

@JJSummertime

If I was meant to exercise, the good alcohol would be kept on the bottom shelf not the top.

@JJSummertime

A web shooter like Spiderman would have so many uses, like I could grab the chips without leaving the couch.