Spring love is in the air!
*sprays repellent*
February
20°
NW OhioIn a 2 acre parking lot, a bird manages to find my windshield.
The TP factory remains safe, as the would-be theives were flushed out before they could wipe up the inventory.
My CW said not to drink cows’ milk cuz we’re not cows so now I get why she drinks almond milk-she’s nuts.
Office Quidditch but the golden snitch is the last free donut.
Bored?
Looking for some action?Call my parents and tell them you heard the price of stamps are going up again.
Red wine has anti-inflammatory properties so if there is a god, she is a middle aged mom.
Wait, I thought Ionic Bond was James’s nerdy little brother.
Fun Fact: If you wear scrubs, people will tell you all kinds of unsolicited and disgusting problems.
You just found Jesus?
The rule is if no one claims him in 30 days you can keep him.
I wish I knew how to spell the crinkle sound a chip bag makes because that would be my future dog’s name.
Friends don’t let friends buy cinnamon scented decorative brooms.
Irony:
My overweight dog can convince you she has completed 28 days on “Survivor” and NEEDS your sandwich just by staring at you.
And you believe her.
I’m not ashamed to say I will never be mature enough to help with school projects about Uranus.
After watching “101 Dalmations” I hoped my dog’s barking was to help others, but I think she is just spreading gossip.