For those of you keeping track, so far:
Whoever is out there saying “What’s the worst that could happen?”-
Now is the worst possible time to catch someone’s drift.
Dear kangaroos, what’s stopping you from looking like this?
A zombie apocalypse would barely make the news.
[stabbing you with a knife]
I’m just being sarcastic, lighten up.
All amusement parks are abandoned amusement parks right now. The Scooby Doo crew must be overwhelmed.
At the end of “Grease,” the car just started flying and everyone was all, “Aw, good for them.”
BATMAN: Who the hell are you?
MANBAT: Who the hell are YOU?
BATMAN: I’m Batman. A man who dresses like a bat.
MANBAT: I’m Manbat. A bat who dresses like a man.
BATBAT: Who the hell are you two?
If you try something new and you aren’t immediately awesome at it, say it’s stupid and never try it again.
Typical day, where a billionaire posts a screenshot of your pinned tweet with you cropped out of it and gets more likes and retweets than your original tweet. I’m so glad he enjoyed it.