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Page of Jamberee13's best tweets

@Jamberee13 : Benefits of not being conventionally attractive:

-Less pressure
- you know people are being genuine when they laugh at your jokes
- can summon crows to do your bidding without fanfare unlike hot villains like Maleficent

@Jamberee13: If Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner taught me one thing it’s that when someone is mildly annoying you should devote the remainder of your life to destroying them.

@Jamberee13: One time I corrected a student when she spelled “through” “thru” and she responded “that’s how *I* spell it”. I could suddenly somehow see her future self putting “if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” in her Tinder profile

@Jamberee13: Me: hear me out— a food truck that sells crab related products called “Crab and Go”

Gordon Ramsey: why are you in my bathtub

@Jamberee13: Wish I could cry like movie people with one graceful tear tracking down my face instead of looking like a tomato that fell on the floor.

@Jamberee13: A couple: *kissing in public*
Me: *perched in a nearby tree* Booooo

@Jamberee13: Person: *falls in love with me*

Me: I have felt bad for a spoon I accidentally threw away because it probably thinks I don’t want it anymore and, why is it the only spoon the in the trash.

Person: ok cool, never mind.

@Jamberee13: Me: *eating ribs*

Morgue Attendant: *crying fearfully*

@Jamberee13: [Me in a horror movie]

*is not at the cabin because I have no friends*

@Jamberee13: Me: Why is a squid throwing away all my stuff?

Calamarie Kondo: What