@JasonBerlin

Seems like ladies hate being asked how their Thanksgiving was, no matter how playfully I pat their stomachs.

@JasonBerlin

You’re never gonna believe this, but I feel negatively about the day of the week when I have to stop relaxing and resume working.

@JasonBerlin

When something falls in your mouth by accident and you eat it, it’s a snaccident.

@JasonBerlin

1. Bang knee on table – curse life.
2. Check credit card balance.
3. Think back to sweet moment when you banged knee on table.