I like to cover my tracks by ending all my Google searches with the word “hypothetically”
After my date orders, I always tell the waiter “Nothing for me..I’ll be eating later” Then wink at my date & raise my eyebrows suggestively!
If the camera adds 10 lbs. & Mirrors don’t lie..Why in the World would a Woman ever take her picture in the bathroom mirror? It defies logic
At this point you can get more Gas for your $5 bill at a Taco Bell than you can at a Shell Station
I’m so glad I found Twitter…I finally have a rock solid Alibi for my Google Search History!
When I see someone in public talking on a bluetooth..I like to position myself on the other side, lean in & whisper “It’s ok I see them too”
Duck you AutoCorrect! You Blimb! I’m way more BadApps than you make me out to be! You Ducking piece of shed..BuckFace Toothless Bastilleday!