My doctor told me if I was 5″ taller I’d be at the ideal weight, so I’m going to try and give that a shot.
My son wanted to go to Disney, but I told him little boys who ruin marriages don’t go to Disney.
When I see someone texting and driving I swerve my car into them and try to run them off the road cause texting and driving is illegal.
My son asked me why girls pee sitting down. I told them they’re lazy.