Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor.
Me: Do you have any mini-ipods in stock? Guy: what color? Me: Any color. Guy: We don’t have any. You Sir, have achieved stupid greatness.
8 teens in the the garage. I hear the miter saw and drill going. I’m just going to sit back and let Darwin take care of things in there.
My dog could not protect the house from robbers if they brought a vacuum cleaner.
I wish I could see the look of surprise and wonder on my son’s face when he opens his lunchbox full of tampons today. Payback for talkback.
Every now and then you meet someone you wish you could unhinge your jaw for. *waiting patiently*