@JoshontheGo

I’ve worn glasses three quarters of my life, but I still manage to poke myself in the eye every now and then putting them on!

@JoshontheGo

If I say I’m going to meet my maker, it’s just me having lunch with my parents.

@JoshontheGo

I’m at my most “penguin”, when I’m walking to get more toilet paper with my shorts around my ankles.

@JoshontheGo

Sorry, I can’t take your call right now, I’m all tied up.

-submissive’s answering machine.

@JoshontheGo

If I said I was the king of the jungle, I’d be lion to you.