@JumbledButts

Prison Guard: “So you two cons are in love?”

Con1: “Yes.”

Con2: “It’s like we finish each other’s…”

*in unison* “death sentences.”

@JumbledButts

*puts a DVD of ‘Frozen’ and a DVD of ‘Dante’s Peak’ into the same DVD player*

*’Waterworld’ starts playing*

@JumbledButts

STEVE: “Wanna go star gazing tonight?”

ME: “What is that? Like a sci fi movie?”

S: “No we watch stars.”

M: “Wars or Trek?”