Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of JustinGuarini's best tweets

@JustinGuarini : Every day I try to learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

@JustinGuarini: Starlord: Galaxy. Superman: Earth. Spiderman: NYC. And then there's Daredevil micromanaging the shit out of 10 blocks in midtown Manhattan.

@JustinGuarini: Have you ever accidentally ended a business call with "I love you?" Oh yeah me neither.

@JustinGuarini: So did you have a nice,relaxing holiday asked the all people without three kids

@JustinGuarini: Before I had kids I never really reflected on life's little mysteries. For example, why is my toothbrush under the couch?

@JustinGuarini: The best part about Facebook is never having to wonder what your acquaintance's baby is doing all day everyday day.

@JustinGuarini: You know you're tired when you kneel on the ground pick something up and then have to decide if it's easier to get up or just live there now