@Kamikaze_Blonde

I always imagined saving the planet would involve a silver jumpsuit and a sidekick robot, not separating glass and paper.

@Kamikaze_Blonde

Sure your baby’s cute but have you ever seen a chihuahua with the hiccups?

@Kamikaze_Blonde

My husband’s digging what he says is a pond but I’m still thinking about hiding one of those ‘In the event of my death’ letters as a precaution.

@Kamikaze_Blonde

There’s a whale in France that can say hello out of its blowhole and I still can’t manage chrysanthemum on the first try.

@Kamikaze_Blonde

“Why would anyone lie on the internet?”

I asked, as Hugh Jackman carried me to the bedroom.

@Kamikaze_Blonde

Some days parenting’s like The Sound of Music but with less singing and more hiding from the Nazis.

@Kamikaze_Blonde

Joan of Arc was sainted but I’m the only person in our house who replaces the toilet paper and nobody says a word.