@KattsDogma

10 y/o Edison: How many scientists does it take to change a light bulb?
His Dad: What’s a light bulb?
His Mom: IDFK. U tell me, Einstein.

@KattsDogma

A lot of my relatives are afraid of ghosts.
– kin dread spirits

@KattsDogma

just weaponized “with all due respect” at my condo board. and now we wait.

@KattsDogma

me: sorry but i just can’t sugarcoat this

my boss at Kellogg:’s: you’re fired

@KattsDogma

Just ate a cheap foil-covered Easter egg & it was so disgusting, I ate 9 more to ensure my initial assessment was correct. I concur with me.

@KattsDogma

Me:FitBit™
Dogs:SitBit™
Babies:ShitBit™
Mosquitos:GitBit™
Scabies:NitBit™
Writers:WitBit™
Ballplayers:HitBit™
Stoners:LitBit™
Teens:ZitBit™

@KattsDogma

I saved 15 per
cent on my insurance by
switching to haiku.

@KattsDogma

A ballerina walks into a barre. Embarrassed, she splits.