I like the murder hornets. So sick of all the negativity.
The three genders
I’ve lived my life according to one basic principle
Two things I’m not looking forward to wrangling on this late-night flight: 1. Carry-on. 2. My wayward son.
Cinderella update where the girl leaves her Invisalign on the table as she flees the party & the prince tries to fit it into the mouth of every girl in the land
Hey people who say “they’re not wrong!”: there is a word for “not wrong.”
*someone at next table says “BFFs”*
ME (peering over back of booth): BFsF.
The average human now spends 1.5 years of their life waiting for dumb post-credits scenes.
Thoughts and prayers to everyone in Hawaii who finally came clean w/ a spouse or partner thinking the missile was on its way.
I can’t believe “still uses Winamp” is a pre-existing condition now. This feels personal.