Sometimes I like to freak my husband out by asking where this relationship is going.
My mom just put a pic on Facebook that says, “Share if your daughter is beautiful AND smart.” She tagged my sister.
My neighbor said “nice skirt” so I said, “thanks, it helps me not blast Miley Cyrus at 6 in the morning, you should borrow it sometime.”
I call my nephews “Dude” and “Homie” because I’m the cool Aunt! (I don’t know their names.)
Sorry I picked up your pug and ran him in for a touchdown.
Gay marriage is about to become legal in England. Hey, America, how does it feel when your parents are cooler than you?
I wish I lived in the 20s so I could wear hats, smoke cigarettes and say stuff like, “Hey big cheese, this giggle water is the cat’s meow.”
Your husband’s super cute, is he single?
Diet tip: If you think you’re hungry, you might just be thirsty. Have a bottle of wine first and then see how you feel.