@KentWGraham: Untangling Christmas lights is the closest my wife and I have ever gotten to S&M.
@KentWGraham: My kids both made it into college despite the fact I helped them with their math homework.
@KentWGraham: Aging has caused me to need glasses. Glasses of beer. Glasses of wine. And glasses of bourbon.
@KentWGraham: At work, I secretly make decaf coffee in the regular pot to keep all of my coworkers working at my pace.
@KentWGraham: I pointed out to my wife that she left the front door unlocked last night, and she’s now providing me with a helpful chronological history of every stupid thing I’ve done.
@KentWGraham: I think we see so many men with long beards nowadays because nobody can afford those Gillette replacement blades.
@KentWGraham: I was misbehaving during family game night. So now I'm in Solitaire confinement.
@KentWGraham: My wife had me try three new positions in the bedroom last night. But she ended up wanting the dresser back where it was.