@KentWGraham

How come I need a complex, indecipherable password to get on Twitter but only a 4-digit number to remove all my money from an ATM?

@KentWGraham

If you wear a Bluetooth phone piece in your ear, you can say “You’re an idiot” to just about anyone you walk past.

@KentWGraham

When I asked for my wife’s hand in marriage, I didn’t realize how often I’d just get the finger.

@KentWGraham

59 days until Christmas. I better start untangling the lights.

@KentWGraham

I don’t think this bowl of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups on my desk is making me as indispensable to the workplace as I had hoped.

@KentWGraham

My boss has stopped letting me leave early for my son’s Little League games ever since he learned he’s in his second year of college.

@KentWGraham

Misery loves company. And from what I can tell, the company she loves is the one where I work.

@KentWGraham

I’m glad humans don’t do the combo breed names like Labradoodle. I wouldn’t want to tell people I’m Germish.

@KentWGraham

Get your employees to work harder by “accidentally” leaving articles on the printer about reducing staff.

@KentWGraham

I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team. But then I learned they don’t cross the country and are back home in a few hours.