Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Kryzazy's best tweets

@Kryzazy : *Wins Lifetime ACheeseMent Award

Me: Oh my Gouda, I can’t Brie-lieve this...

@Kryzazy: If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles then you too can be anything you want.

@Kryzazy: Friend: I like your blush
Me: Thanks, it’s called Panic Attack

@Kryzazy: Some people dream of doing great things with their lives, my dream is to have an alpaca named Al Pacacino.

@Kryzazy: If we call people named David, Dave for short, does that mean Flava Flav’s real name was Flavour Flavid?

@Kryzazy: Relationship status: I hide snacks from myself and get mad when I can't find them.

@Kryzazy: *me trying not to be awkward when I meet new people

Them: Hi, it’s really nice to meet you
Me: Yeah, thanks, my dress has pockets

@Kryzazy: Squirrels are just hobos with fancy fur coats.

@Kryzazy: I thought I saw a spider on the floor...Turns out it was a paper clip.
It's dead now.
No need to panic.

@Kryzazy: Goes to Nirvana themed "Come as you are" party. Gets arrested for indecent exposure.