quarantine day 8: i don’t think my pet fish is doing too well
[getting a haircuit]
barber: how’s this?
me, horrified and disgusted: perfect 🙂
i am responds with “baby don’t hurt me”, when someone says “what is love” years old
me: sorry what?
me: sorry i have bad hearing, one more time?
them: *unintelligible but louder*
me: haha yeah
[god inventing sleep]
god: people can have a little death, as a treat