Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@LaniBeno : It's not procrastination if I never had any intention of doing it in the first place.
@LaniBeno: I hate it when people don't behave the way I thought they would when I rehearsed the conversation in my head.
@LaniBeno: I ate the whole box of slim fast bars. So excited about how skinny I'll be when I wake up tomorrow.
@LaniBeno: I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here.
@LaniBeno: Not sure if I washed the spider down the drain in my shower or if he took one look at me naked and then leapt willingly to his death.
@LaniBeno: I don't understand what you mean by 'stop drinking so much'. How else will you know how much I love you at 2am every day?