@LaniBeno

It’s not procrastination if I never had any intention of doing it in the first place.

@LaniBeno

I hate it when people don’t behave the way I thought they would when I rehearsed the conversation in my head.

@LaniBeno

I ate the whole box of slim fast bars. So excited about how skinny I’ll be when I wake up tomorrow.

@LaniBeno

I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here.

@LaniBeno

Not sure if I washed the spider down the drain in my shower or if he took one look at me naked and then leapt willingly to his death.

@LaniBeno

I don’t understand what you mean by ‘stop drinking so much’. How else will you know how much I love you at 2am every day?